Highlight of my short trip to Malaysia last weekend:

Me: You wanted to see WL korkor right? You miss him?
Sis: -nods-
Me: You want him? I'll give him to you okay? You'll be his girlfriend?
Sis: -nods-

Well, at least somebody was happy to see Wang.

Tebrau City brought on a whole new wave of memories, back to when I was a whole lot younger & when mummy used to live in the JB area. I miss the seemingly endless drive down the highway in the dead of the night, cutting a five-hour drive into three. Mummy would be sipping on Redbull, playing techno songs over the car's stereo (what, it was the in thing back then) & I would be looking out into the rows of trees wondering if there's anything lurking in the darkness, watching us as our car sped on.

Aside, Wang & I did a little bit of shopping. Bought spectacles & I think it was the very first time I actually helped him to pay part of his big purchase for him (Retrosuperfuture's Andrea Francis Clear! I must admit they're quite the looker). I'm still undecided as to whether or not it was worth the total damage of RM8xx seeing how he's definitely not going to wear it in the army, but oh well. Bought the mum her Mothers' Day present + dinner & as short as the trip was, I was glad to be able to hang out with her & my sister for awhile.

Onto less significant things, made my Twitter public a few days ago & now I have odd people tweeting weird things to me. Things at work are also picking up, which is great. Hung out with the girls on Wednesday & as usual, lots of love & laughter. We were talking over Twitter just yesterday about how we've been best friends for seven years... That's more than 1/3 of our lives! I know I've said this too many times, but it's amazing how time flies.

Just, thankful. For amazing best friends who love me like nobody else. x

After I ripped the tapes out of the cassette it was clear that it would be impossible to rewind anything. You were too late. Saying that you're sorry for your mistakes & that "she wasn't worth any of it" doesn't reverse the damage. I was not only the trigger that you pulled, I was also the target that you hit & left out to bleed. & like what I said, any regrets & guilt are not mine to bear. The mess is not for me to sit & wallow in.

The heartbreak lullaby should not be my tune to sing.

For the first time in weeks, I can say that I am finally smiling genuinely.

Right now, I am at a state where I no longer care about what's the word that's going around, because people can victimize their sorry asses for all they want, it still won't make their story true. & I've been keeping certain things low, under wraps, but Debra said something very true yesterday. "People will always talk, so might as well give them something to talk about."

I think I ought to give myself some credit. For being able to give out chances time & time again, for not only being able to survive each one when I was let down, but also be able to rise up from it & come out even better than before. I have been so strong. & I think I should be proud of myself like how my friends & loved ones are proud of me. Whatever that's throwing itself in my way only makes me more determined. I don't have a single doubt when it comes to this: I always come out on top. & nobody can crack my soul if I don't allow them to.

As for the deed itself, I did what I had to do. The worst part wasn't that there wasn't anybody or anything to save, it was that I suddenly realized nobody was coming to my rescue & I had to save me, myself & my sanity. Sure, the part where I allowed myself & everything else to burn down was the hardest. But let's just say that after you've risen from the ashes, you're not only able to see things from a higher, clearer & different perspective, you're also able to see people for who & what they really are. 

I may heal quick, but that's only because I'm a happy person by nature & sadness doesn't fit in me. My body simply rejects any form of negative emotions. I'm not saying that I don't fall back into it from time to time because I am only human. What I can safely & honestly say is that those times are getting shorter & shorter. Because even though some people come in & go out of your life, I really still do have some drop dead gorgeous, incredibly fantastic friends who are most definitely not going anywhere. The other day Toph was on Facebook & he said something along he lines of, "Give your toys to the less fortunate! Ask if they want your leftovers from your eaten sandwich!" & it was mean, but I kinda doubled up with laughter.

Besides that... There's always that person who's willing to stay & be with you every single step of the way. Someone who's not only willing to give you their wings when you're free-falling, but who is also ready to crash with you if you were to collide.

What can I say? Harley Quinn is here to stay. x